In short, acquisition and fitting of kitchen, aka, Groundhog Day, involved:
- eight visits to Ikea, Croydon in a two-month period (more than enough to provoke paranoid psychosis, as well as manic depression)
- one blazing row with good friend, in Croydon
- one penalty notice for stopping on a red route (to have a blazing row)
- four tortuous, Pinteresque phonecalls to Ikea's "customer service" department (and I use the term loosely)
- one belated discovery that I'd bought the wrong (and non-returnable) type of oven from Ebay
- not enough units/too many units/complete alienation from the kitchen plan
- one 58cm mystery gap that sneaked in when no one was looking
- one faulty tap which wobbled and made the water taste like nicotine
- green-mindedly trying to sell the old kitchen on Ebay with both success and disaster in quick succession
- one formica-phobic builder
- two key pieces of wiring, missing (only to be found in... yes... Ikea, Croydon)
- one £80 carousel that couldn't be used - or returned... yada yada yada. As the card says...
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